dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
