you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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