My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
