Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
