I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
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