The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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