If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
