You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
