i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
