that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
