Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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