im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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