did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
