Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
