This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I have aggressive nipples.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
