I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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