I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
