Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
