I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
