had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
