K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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