No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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