Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
