"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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