With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
