If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
