you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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