Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
