I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
