Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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