is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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