white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
