i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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