did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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