I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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