i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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