If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
