I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
