I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
