Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
