I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
