Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
