Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
