Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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