Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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