the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
