Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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