Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(530): View more from California

Those balls look pretty dangerous.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party

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(916): View more from California

It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent

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(1616): View more from

I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .

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(802): View more from Vermont

Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.

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(571): View more from Virginia

I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine

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(361): View more from Texas

I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.

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