I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
