I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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